Nurturing Positive Self-esteem
“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.”
— Sir Edmund Hillary
As someone who has had a rocky relationship with the concept of self-worth, the above quote resonates on a deep level. Self-esteem is a complex but essential aspect of human psychology. It refers to the overall intrinsic assessment of one's worth, capabilities, and value as a person. In simpler terms, it's how you feel about yourself.
Self-esteem can be considered a core pillar on which we build our lives. It impacts multiple aspects of life whether we’re aware of it or not, including the way we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. It can have a massive influence on our relationships, decisions, and the way that we treat ourselves and others.
Self-esteem is measured on a spectrum from high to low with high self-esteem promoting positive feelings of self and the world and low self-esteem promoting the opposite.
Everyone has insecurities, thats just the nature of nurture, but developing healthy self-esteem starts with self-awareness, acceptance and compassion. It stems from knowing that nothing and no one is perfect and embracing these imperfections from the core. It’s about fostering a positive awareness of our uniqueness as individuals and embracing this as valuable.
That is much easier said than done, obviously or the world would be a much better place for everyone. However, I believe that we’re all capable of conquering ourselves as the starting quote so eloquently states, and then we can conquer the mountain which is life.
What are the signs of Healthy and Low self-esteem?
Healthy Self-esteem
As mentioned earlier healthy self-esteem promotes general feelings of positivity towards oneself and the world. People with healthy self-esteem usually tend to display the following characteristics:
Confidence:
Individuals with healthy self-esteem trust in their abilities, qualities and judgment and are therefore likely to make decisions with ease.
Self-acceptance:
They accept themselves as they are and embrace their imperfections and unique qualities.
Resilience:
They’re able to bounce back from failures and setbacks, viewing them as lessons and opportunities for growth.
Positive Relationships:
Healthy self-esteem allows individuals to establish and maintain healthy, mutually supportive relationships.
Low Self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to view themselves and the world in a more negative light and tend to project the following characteristics:
Criticism:
People with low self-esteem often engage in self-criticism and negative self-talk, They also tend to be very critical of others and the world around them.
Fear of Rejection:
They may avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities due to a fear of failure or rejection, they may also reject others as a defence mechanism.
Perfectionism:
Unrealistic expectations can lead to a constant sense of disappointment and inadequacy, which extend feelings of low self-esteem.
Isolation:
Low self-esteem can lead to social withdrawal, as individuals may feel unworthy of others' company. This can lead to other mental health issues like depression or anxiety.
How to Boost Self-esteem
Boosting self-esteem can seem like an impossible task at first but I’m here to tell you from first-hand experience that it is possible. What was beneficial in my journey was understanding why I had a negative view of myself and the world. This helped me understand myself better, it also made me realise that my view of the world and myself might not be all that true and if I changed the way I looked at things, the things I looked at changed too! Once this foundation was established I was able to incorporate the following practices to help develop a more healthy self-esteem. You may find some of these beneficial on your journey as well.
Self-awareness:
An important step to boosting self-esteem is understanding your thoughts and feelings. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and challenge negative self-talk. Remember that thoughts are not facts.Goal setting:
Setting achievable, incremental goals that allow you to experience success builds confidence over time. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Seeking Support:
Don't be afraid to lean on friends, family, or a therapist for support. Opening up about your feelings can be a powerful way to gain perspective and encouragement.
Embracing Self-care:
Prioritising self-care activities that nourish your mind and body can have an overall positive impact on self-esteem and mental well-being. Exercise, adequate sleep, and a balanced diet can significantly impact the way you feel about yourself.
Challenge Perfectionism:
Understand that perfection is unattainable, and mistakes are part of the learning process. No one is perfect, embrace imperfection as a stepping stone to growth.
Nurturing positive self-esteem is a lifelong journey, but it can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. By understanding what self-esteem is, recognizing the signs of healthy and low self-esteem, and implementing strategies to boost self-esteem, you can build a stronger foundation for your well-being. Remember, practising self-compassion is not a sign of weakness; it's a powerful tool for self-growth and resilience. So, embrace your worth, cherish your uniqueness, and embark on a journey to a more confident, self-compassionate you.
